Revelations of Final Fantasy

So if you're a friend of mine you would know that I've taken it upon myself to beat every Final Fantasy mainstream game, which means I thru XIII-2.  After months of playing through a ton of chocobo infested games, I've decided to share my thoughts with what I have completed so far.  I know there's a lot of people, dare I say the majority, that haven't touched a Final Fantasy before IV, VI, or VII, so maybe this will shed a little insight.  Disclaimer; the only 2 games I haven't beaten are IV (I got pretty far in it as a kid, but got frustrated and quit) and V.  So to begin I'm gonna go through the games individually from what I've just played and beaten.


While reading, listen to this song from the Double Dragon Neon OST.  It's super awesome and super 80's and always puts me in a good mood.  The guy who does it, Jake Kaufman, makes super awesome soundtracks and should show support by buying the album!  Support good music!
City Streets 2 (Mango Tango - Neon Jungle)

Final Fantasy I:

Beat this guy then turn the game off, because it will no longer be fun.

I hear this was an epic back on the NES days.  The first epic journey in video game form.  I played through this one on the Origins disc on the PS1 because I don't own the NES version.  I fucking hate this game.  If I had played it when I was little, I would've thrown it out the damn window.  I don't fucking get how anyone could get nostalgic about this game.  Broken doesn't begin to describe this garbage ass game.  It's a terribly confusing, insanely difficult (I would actually say the hardest game imaginable as there are ungodly amounts of cheap 1 shot fights and no saves in dungeons on the NES), and just a giant pile of non fun all for you!
There is no story.  Technically there is, but I prefer to just say fuck it.  Your goal is to use the 4 crystals to banish the evil or something like that.  Whatever.  Imagine someone telling you to go grab them a cup of coffee...from the fucking moon.  That's the story.  I'm aware of the limitations of such an early game, but it's just bad.  If you don't throw your controller at least 4 times while playing this game, you're not human.  Never play this game ever.

Blood Sword = Win in 4 hits.

Final Fantasy II:
Less broken and an actual story.  There are scripted scenes now which allow storytelling to take place.  I played this one on PSP.  The game is MUCH more balanced, but it's still not worth anyone's time.  You have a main 3 person party, and always a guest.  The guest is almost always garbage and feels like a waste.  Instead of leveling in that game you get specific stat boosts according to how you play your characters.  Hit a guy, gain strength.  Cast a spell, gain mana.  I really can't recommend this game to play either.  Although it's not bad, it's definitely not fun.  If you have to play it, play the Origins version so you can cheat and blow through the game =P

Final Fantasy III:

I wish I had named my main character Danzig.

Played this on DS.  Not a bad game actually, still not really great either.  This is the game that introduces the job system.  You have a ton of jobs you can take for your characters, and it's up to you to pick what.  The job system is pretty cool at times, except when there's that ONE boss where you need to use a specific class that's otherwise useless.  It would be fine if it didn't impose a standard 10+ battle penalty where you do reduced damage.  It really discourages experimenting.  There are a couple cheap spots in that game, specifically the final area.  In the final area you play through about a 30 minute dungeon, fight 2 bosses, fight through another 40 minute dungeon with 4 more bosses (one in particular is obscenely difficult) and then the final boss.  Not a save point to be found.  I lost 2 hours of my life when I got to Cerberus.  I had been whooping everything's ass but that boss just needs someone to absorb damage.  After a week break, I came back, grinded a bit and beat it.  Overall, play this game if you're bored and/or find it for cheap.  I got mine for 5$ and I see them for 10 at Gamestops and I'd say it's worth it.

Hi I'm no motivation antagonist man.  Die!

Final Fantasy VI:
Great game, but I don't think that'll surprise anyone.  I still think this game is bizarrely overrated, but hey, my favorite game ever made is VII, and the same argument can be said.  Game is super cool in the ways that they let you play with the formula of Final Fantasy.  Every character gets a certain special ability, and they're almost all awesome.  Played through this one on the good ol' SNES, and I had a great time except for the floating Fortress.  Highly recommend it if not just to see the first really great Final Fantasy.

Super Sayan 4 Kuja.

Final Fantasy IX:
Yeah, I skipped this one back in the day.  This game blew me away.  I was not expecting it to be this good.  Story is cool, characters are interesting, battle system is a ton of fun, and most importantly the whole thing is an homage to the previous games.  The part where you fight the bosses at the crystals is the exact same fights as in FF1, and that's pretty damn cool.  Do NOT pass this game up, it is Final Fantasy perfected.  Only complaint is there is no extra end game dungeon, just a hidden boss in the clouds.  Kinda lame.

You can beat 3 Bahamuts right?

Final Fantasy XIII-2:
Here's my full review
Play the game for pretty graphics and decent battle system, and just realize it's the worst story, character interaction and dialogue, and conclusion ever thought up by a human being.  How about just beat it and turn it off right before the bad part?

Iconic.

Final Fantasy VIII (Mid playthrough):
I've beaten this game before as a kid, but I remember almost nothing about it except for Squall in space lol.  Just wanted to throw in that this game is a LOT better than I remember.  So far it's a grind = rewards kind of game; if you don't mind taking time to set yourself up, you'll be obscenely strong.  Named the main characters Scott and Ramona <3.






So it looks like they really didn't get good until the SNES era.  Some people would argue that they were great for their time, and I would laugh at them.  While they may have simply made a good formula for making Dungeons and Dragons from a board game into a video game, the first games were awful stand alone video games.  Zelda, Crystalis, Star Tropics, all better games that don't suck huge assholes.  There are games that take the limitations of the NES and produce a very high degree of difficulty and this is one of them.  Unfortunately they didn't have the tuning or Ninja Gaiden or Contra, and they just end up being dumpster fodder.  I've said it once and I'll say it again, video games above all else, are supposed to be fun, interactive experiences.  Fun.  Not terrible, fun.  Contra is terribly hard, but fun.  There is no satisfaction to be had from the older games, but we'll honor them as the place where the good games came from.


I'll have throw up an edit once I finish them all, but with XCOM, Borderlands, AC3, Dishonored, and RE6 sitting in front of me....it could be quite a while!